“The hell?! You killed your chance in like two seconds gone just like that! I can’t believe this!” Karen goes on and on. I keep looking out of the window confused. Being popular was her thing not mine. I mean I never experienced it like her. She briefly dated Spencer freshmen year she got her first taste of popularity then. She ignored me the first half of the year. I would watch them from the far table in the back as she sat with Spencer Kevin and the other football players. She left me behind I guess I wasn’t cool enough to be with them. This was true we had nothing in common I liked books they liked Instagram. I’m not a social media person, like at all. I had gotten used to eating my lunch alone in the back of the cafeteria unnoticed that’s until Rachel came along. Rachel was new but she was gorgeous. She was tall skinny long straight hair not to mention she got everyone’s attention. Especially Spencer’s. Slowly as the weeks went by Karen was getting less noticed. Not meeting her at locker so much, disappearing when they were supposed to walk home together until a week before Christmas vacation he was walking down the hall holding hands with Rachel and Karen was in my arms in the girl’s bathroom. I’m still not sure why I stayed there to comfort her she did leave me out in the cold for months. I guess the lesson is that I should probably get more friends in my life but her sobbing that morning made me feel sorry for her. I mean how long can relationship last freshmen year? Four months is a long time that’s almost forever.

I turn around to look at her and she looks the same way she did that morning in the girl’s bathroom two years ago, I guess these years she wanted to reclaim her rightful place or she wanted me to know what it was like even it would be short lived.

“Jess you gotta call him! You must go out for that ice cream! I’m going to message him if you don’t!”

She runs back upstairs and run after her not sure if I should stop her or not. The hall mirror stops me. I look at my swollen lip red and puffy and my creamy face. I guess a little lipstick or some blush or a highlighter. Maybe even put some curls in my super straight hair or struggle with contact lenses again. Half way through my junior year what could it do? Make me or noticed or laughed at not sure which one is worse.

“I can’t message him Jess we have to give it day! Make him stew in his guilt.”

I shrug my shoulders.

“Sure, give it a day,” I repeat.

She smiles in approval and starts to play with my hair. Yeah give it day maybe things will be easier. Maybe this will all go away and I can just disappear.

Hope you enjoyed this more of the story to come

peace and stay creative,

Trish

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