10 Things I’ve Learned about being a parent

My daughter is nine now and I think back to when she was born and I was young and had no clue what I was doing or how I was going to take of this delicate life there were 10 things that I’ve had to remind myself over the years

1. You’re going to make mistake and it’s OK.
2. It’s OK to have a little me time from time to time
3. You have to be their first teacher so teach them the best that you can
4. Investigate Everything!
5. If they are too quiet they are into something they shouldn’t be RUN and RUN FAST!
6. Think about the future. Yours and theirs.
7. Talk to them as much as possible about everything
8. Enjoy the moment it won’t happen twice
9. You think it’s bad..OK?! It can be worse.
10. As long as you’re doing the best you can, your family has a roof over their heads, food, and working towards your goals nothing else matters. What people think, have whatever it doesn’t matter.

This is apart of the #31dayblogchallenge let me know you thoughts below.

Peace,

Trish

When you hate your name…

 

 

 

This was supposed to be a story about my name. The origin, who decided to name you that? Would it be offensive to change it now that you are an adult?

Well my mother named me people gave the nickname Trish when I was twenty four and I stuck with it I’ve always like the name Elle I thought it was glamorous so I put them together to make my pen name. I wish I had a cool story about it being my great-grandmother’s name and they name me the same to so it wouldn’t be lost in history but I don’t but if you are like me and hate your name allwomenstalk has the answers for you 7 things you can do if you if you hate your name.

This is day 4 of the #31dayblogchallenge  let me know what you think below

Peace,

Trish

 

College. Is It Worth It?

 

 

Well day 3 in this blogging challenge asks my views on education. A general topic that I go in many different directions with that topic. Sitting around most of the day wondering which direction should I take and I thought a lunch that I had with two of my former college mates that came to visit. Sitting at the coffee table with them not telling them at the time I had to dig out of the piggy bank of a few ones out just so I can enough to meet them. I listened to their stories one friend we’ll call her Tabitha was still at waitress job that she got when we were juniors in college and working part time at non profit as receptionist still not in her working in her field not even six years later. My other friend we’ll call her Sharon fared better than two of she she had a job in her field working in an architect firm but was miserable just drawing windows and helping someone else recognize their dream. I on the other hand had an finished novel that I was too afraid too look for an agent or write a proposal letter for because it may get rejected. Meanwhile working at night answering emails from customers at shoe retailer. I was surprised at all of the misspellings and grammar errors.

Back to the question…Was college worth it?

We all said no instantaneously for the following reasons.

1.We had no clear direction.

2. There was no plan cultivate our skills during college.

3. We did not have a mentor.

4. We did not have an exit strategy.

 Clear direction: Most of us were told from childhood to go to college so you can get a career and be successful without any clear direction why or what do to get this career. It was almost as if this career was going to be handed to us as a consolation prize for even going to college. There should have been research involved. What are you good at? Is there a market for it? What is the best way to get a career in that market?  How can you stand out with in that niche?  How are you going to achieve that while you’re in college? This is your investment think before you leap.

Plan to cultivate skills: Taking classes of coarse was the whole reason why we go to college in the first place but the real challenge is making is this work for you in the real world. This is where networking comes in. Whether it’s a sorority/fraternity, a club, a form of student council, internships. Find a way to apply this to help you in the future.

 Have a mentor: That seams simple right. Find some who is where you want to be and pick their brain, ask them questions, see how they got to where you want to be. I know for a fact that I wasted this opportunity I should have sought out more than one person that was working in the career that I wanted. I interned but I didn’t take advantage I just did the internship and went to class just to say I did it and put it on my resume. What I suggest is find a mentor ask and adsorb as much as you can from them they’ve been where you are any advise can be helpful.

Exit Strategy: You have a degree. Congratulations! Now what? Look for a entry level position in your field and work you way up right? Well since we were in a recession at the time there were no jobs at all in my field. So I did office jobs and tutoring on the side to pay the bills so that way I can use my degree in some way. I should have an exit strategy. Do you want start you business? Go to graduate school? Want to write that best seller? Think about it an start before you graduate that way it’s already in motion not saying there won’t be bumps along  the way but at least your’re focused on your dream.

So is college worth it? I will say yes if you have a plan and know exactly what you want to do with your investment of getting a degree. I will say no if your are going for the experience and grow and find yourself. Honestly we live in a world where you can’t waste time trying to do something that you are going to do naturally with time. It’s not worth being thousands of dollars in debt to have an experience working at a job you hate and all you have are memories.

This is apart of my 31 day blog challenge. If you wanted to join follow me on twitter @Trishelle84 make you add #31dayblogchallenge.

Tell me what you think below,

Trish

#31dayblogchallenge

I found this just google writing challenges and I feel as if I should try something new with this multi part short story of Jessie and how her missing tooth has given her new found popularity. I’m already two days behind so I’ll do a two for one just now something fresh to give me some inspiration from not posting for weeks.

30 Day Goals 

1. My goal is to have content post everyday and complete this challenge
2. Be more specific and find a niche
3. Start writing another book
4. Finish my artwork to publish a coloring book
5. Write everyday even if I don’t post it

Wish me luck…

Siblings (lack there of)

Being the only child and a military brat I don’t have siblings. I have close friends that I’ve known for years I make it point to call them at least one a week. Hey I wish it was more but sometimes life get’s in the way. When I was younger I wanted a little brother or sister like most children as I got older I realized that it wasn’t going to happen. So I learned how to do activities by myself until I was able to make friends in the new state that I was in. My Grandmother taught me how to crochet when I was about six years old so I picked that up as a hobby. I would journal about anything and everything all of my frustrations mostly and that became my therapy and later English became my favorite subject and my major in college. I’m off topic well since I didn’t have siblings I made the people closet around me my “sisters”  some of them definitely didn’t deserve that title. I had to learn the hard way because some people just do not have your best interest at heart but I will say the “sisters” that I have now are amazing people.

Hope you enjoyed my 2 for 1

Peace and Stay Creative.

Trish

Run like its a zombie apoclypse

Everything is coming at me way too fast. It was as if the world around me is like the series of lights and flashes that are in those modern pictures that I see displayed in The Square. That was me lights and flashes. Karen sat in the middle of Kevin and I her red curls bouncing in my face. If she wants this she can have this I don’t want anything to with it something about Kevin made me say yes. He said please I never pictured that happening ever. I feel obligated to stay and suffer through all her ideas. Most of them were stupid Kevin locks eyes with me with same expression. Everything she is saying is stupid none of it made since she’s just happy to be here.

“Karen we’re super excited that you have so many ideas. It is ok if I talk to Jess alone?”

Karen smile grows ten times wider and her eyes bigger. “Sure.”

She jumps out of the chair moving to the back of the classroom smiling and giving her thumbs up. I roll my eyes and face Kevin who’s now in her spot which I’m sure it’s warm by now I chuckle at the thought. “Look Karen is cool and all but these ideas are crazy.”

I pick up the paper and read, “Have someone fake being hurt in the hallway to see if someone will help.”

“Hey that one might be pretty cool. We can have someone fake break their leg with blood and everything,” Kevin calls out.

“That will cause panic everyone will run out of the hallway like it’s a zombie apocalypse.”

He laughs, “Yeah you’re right.”

“We could do that but have a demonstration of it like people can come in a classroom to see what to do.”

He smiles. His teeth are so perfect and white straight like that they were placed by angels and his skin smooth and olive not one blemish not a scar. I never realize how perfect he is until now. I get lost in him my brain is foggy I try to think but I can’t. I can’t make out what he’s saying his lips are perfect. He’s perfect.

“Hey, hey Jess are you ok?”

He touches my shoulder taking out of the trance, “Yeah I’m fine.” I fix my shirt and move my hair back since I feel like I’m sweating I may not be but feel like it’s one hundred degrees in here.

“I said that the demo in the classroom is a good idea I’ll take this to the Coach to see what he thinks.”

The bell rings and it’s over. It’s over too soon I sit there any he and everyone else is making their way out of the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he yells out.

I wave and smile.  I can’t speak my brain is back in the fog and I feel tingly all over. What just happened? Karen dances around like she won the lottery. I ignore her and pullout my pocket mirror and look at my plain face. I need a change a makeover I need to be a new Jessica.

I ditch Jessica telling her that I had a doctor’s appointment. I drive to mall looking around to see if anyone sees me. Just a few moms and older couples no one from school. Great. I go into the make-up shop where I see Marcy testing makeup with a few other girls out of boredom. I try to turn around before she can see me.

“Hey Jessica!”

I snap my fingers, take a deep breath and turn around. I wave but she runs up and squeezes me tightly.

“I didn’t know you like make-up. Oh, are you trying to cover up the thing?” she asks pointing to my swollen lip.

“I can’t really cover it up its swollen I got hit in the face with a football kinda hard.”

She laughs and it roars though the room over the generic pop music. “We can’t cover it up but we can focus on other things like your pale skin, or your bushy eyebrows or your lack of eyelashes.”

The room becomes overwhelming or I just shrunk about three sizes. All this isn’t me. What was I thinking?  She squeezes my arm pulling me to the makeup chair. “Don’t feel bad all of this can be fixed. Don’t worry Jess I’m going to help you. I’m finally glad that you decided to step into the rest of the world.”

She forces me into the chair. Marcy is strong than she looks. Does the volleyball coach make them lifts weights? She pulls out sample and sample comparing it against my skin. What did I get myself into?

Hope you’ve enjoyed the story so far don’t forget to check it out from the beginning down below

That Time When

Give It A Day

We Do Now

 

We Do Now

Well so much for that it’s Friday morning and walking through the hallway I’m looking at my boots while everyone is looking at me whispering and pointing. I feel like a sideshow attraction. So many different stories are being told I was there and I’m not sure what happened. Karen is walking next to me smile and waving like she just won a crown. I go to my locker. In a failed attempt to place my coat and grabs my books as fast I can Josh walks up.

“Uh hey how’s it going?”

I roll my eyes and close my locker. I attempt to make a break for it but Karen stops me blocks her arm so I can get through.

“So, is it true that all of your teeth got knocked out and you like have to wear dentures now?”

I shove Karen out of the way and walk to class. This was going to be the longest month ever. Why did this have to happen to me of all people? Why could this just happen to Karen she would have loved this. I take a deep breath and walk into Physics pretending like I haven’t been gone for two days.  I try to smile but sharp pain in my mouth forces me frown. I think I read somewhere that smiling gives you wrinkles anyway. I hear all the whispers and try to ignore them. I want to say something but what? Something big must happen before I’m forgotten about again.

“Jessica Staton you’re wanted in the office,” Mrs. Flanagan’s voice calls over the monitor.

I smack my hand against my forehead.

“Ooh,” Josh calls out and the whole class erupts with laughter. I want to scream and run out of the building to my house as fast as I can. I don’t I slide into the office where Mrs. Flanagan is on the phone and points to the office doors while she looks over top her very thick framed glasses. I walk into see Kevin, Coach Johnson and Principal Martin my knees are weak and head suddenly feels like there is a ten-pound weight placed on top of it squeezing slowly.  Take a seat at the farthest part of the room as all their eyes are focused on me.

“Good Morning,” Principal Martin says.

“Good Moring.”

“On behalf of everyone in this room we want to apologize on what happened earlier this week. How are you feeling?”

I look at all three of them Kevin looks afraid Principal Martin looks concern and Coach Johnson looks angry.  I need to choose my words carefully. My palms are sweating and I think of all the words I can say… Tired, Angry, Annoyed, Irritated, Perturbed.

“Sore,” I say.

All three of them smile.

“I just want to apologize again of what happened. We don’t condone rough housing in the cafeteria or any of the football players.”

I nod but not try not to say a word. Kevin still looks down like a kid who just got in trouble for throwing a baseball through their neighbor’s window. I guess in this case I’m the window.

“Therefore, we are suggesting that Kevin take you the Winter Snow Ball just to show how sorry that he is for what happened and it would help if you could lead a campaign on sport related injuries.”

“Wait…he doesn’t have to take me to the Ball I wasn’t even planning on going believe me. I don’t play sports, he does! Why can’t he just lead the campaign himself?!”

“Well we thought it would be easier if you two lead this as an united front. To show that it takes all of us to be responsible,” Coach Johnson added.

I look at Kevin he doesn’t look at me.

“We need you’re backing on this,” Principal Martin pleaded.

“Why? It was just an accident. Accidents happen every day!”

“People don’t lose teeth everyday Ms. Staton we need your support to make this work.”

I glance over at Kevin again. Please he whispers. I roll my eyes and lean back into the chair.

“What do I have to do?”

“We can’t talk about in our study hall,” Kevin says.

“We don’t have study hall together.”

“We do now.”

I place my face in my face in my hands in an effort to not faint.

I hope you enjoyed this there’s more to come

Peace and Stay Creative 

Trish

 

 

Give It A Day

 

“The hell?! You killed your chance in like two seconds gone just like that! I can’t believe this!” Karen goes on and on. I keep looking out of the window confused. Being popular was her thing not mine. I mean I never experienced it like her. She briefly dated Spencer freshmen year she got her first taste of popularity then. She ignored me the first half of the year. I would watch them from the far table in the back as she sat with Spencer Kevin and the other football players. She left me behind I guess I wasn’t cool enough to be with them. This was true we had nothing in common I liked books they liked Instagram. I’m not a social media person, like at all. I had gotten used to eating my lunch alone in the back of the cafeteria unnoticed that’s until Rachel came along. Rachel was new but she was gorgeous. She was tall skinny long straight hair not to mention she got everyone’s attention. Especially Spencer’s. Slowly as the weeks went by Karen was getting less noticed. Not meeting her at locker so much, disappearing when they were supposed to walk home together until a week before Christmas vacation he was walking down the hall holding hands with Rachel and Karen was in my arms in the girl’s bathroom. I’m still not sure why I stayed there to comfort her she did leave me out in the cold for months. I guess the lesson is that I should probably get more friends in my life but her sobbing that morning made me feel sorry for her. I mean how long can relationship last freshmen year? Four months is a long time that’s almost forever.

I turn around to look at her and she looks the same way she did that morning in the girl’s bathroom two years ago, I guess these years she wanted to reclaim her rightful place or she wanted me to know what it was like even it would be short lived.

“Jess you gotta call him! You must go out for that ice cream! I’m going to message him if you don’t!”

She runs back upstairs and run after her not sure if I should stop her or not. The hall mirror stops me. I look at my swollen lip red and puffy and my creamy face. I guess a little lipstick or some blush or a highlighter. Maybe even put some curls in my super straight hair or struggle with contact lenses again. Half way through my junior year what could it do? Make me or noticed or laughed at not sure which one is worse.

“I can’t message him Jess we have to give it day! Make him stew in his guilt.”

I shrug my shoulders.

“Sure, give it a day,” I repeat.

She smiles in approval and starts to play with my hair. Yeah give it day maybe things will be easier. Maybe this will all go away and I can just disappear.

Hope you enjoyed this more of the story to come

peace and stay creative,

Trish

That Time When

I take a good look in the mirror at the fresh dental work that done a few hours before. My mouth still swollen kinda bloody. I close my eyes try to get the embarrassment out of my head but I can’t. I got hit in the face with a football in the cafeteria in front of everyone. All I remember is hey look…at curtains. Out cold woke up with Karen next to me explaining the story.” Kyle was right there throwing the football to Spencer and you were walking and next thing ya know BAM! It was epic I mean it almost in slow motion. You don’t remember?”

I shake my head. Still looking in the mirror at my newly implanted tooth. I wonder if people will notice. It’s not like anyone has noticed me until now. Why now? Why like this? I toss the mirror beside on the bed and lay backward looking at the stars on my ceiling. I get two days off from school so at least there’s that but unless something big happens between then and now I’m screwed. The butterflies dance in my stomach turning it into knots. I see Karen moving out of the corner of my eye but I choose to tune her out I can’t deal right now. After all this time of being unnoticed and to have this be my mark. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

“Jessie?”

I open one eye and look at Karen her curly red hair covering most of her face, “You are going to be so popular now.”

I sit up in confusion “I’m going to be known as the girl whose tooth got knocked out in the cafeteria!”

“By Kevin and Spencer! It’s going to be amazing!”

I laughed despite my mouth throbbing. It’s not like either one of them noticed me before we’ve known them since elementary school, since kindergarten, since forever and they’ve never noticed me before. Jessica Who?

“They’re not going to care,” I mumble.

“They will just wait and see.”

I roll my eyes and look at the stars on the celling drifting off.

“Jessie, Jessie wake up!”

I wake up to Karen shaking me. “Guess who’s down stars? Guess who?”

I rub my eyes and shrug my shoulders in confusion.

“Kevin is down stairs! He came to see you!”

She grabs my brush from the knight stand and start brushing my hair like a mad woman.

“I wish you wore makeup,” she says.

I fan her away with my arms and slowly glide downstairs. Kevin was sitting there on the sofa with my parents rubbing patches our dog who has his head placed Kevin’s lap. Both of my parents were listening to his apology and story about how I got hit in the face with a football.

“I’m not sure what happened Spencer was supposed to catch it but he didn’t and Jessica came out nowhere. I’m sorry. How is she?”

“I’m fine,” call out.

They all turn to look at me surprised that I’m there.

“I’m fine,” I repeat.

“Uh, um that’s good. Um I mean everybody were worried about you that ball hit you pretty hard,” Kevin stammers.

My parents both tap each other and go into the kitchen giggling and chuckling like children. I roll my eyes. Kevin looks down at shoes and at patches I never seen him like this. I look at his massive muscles in his sweater perfect skin and six-foot frame that towered over me.

“Um I’m glad to see that you’re ok.”

“They had to replace my tooth,” I blurt out.

His face turns red. He keeps looking down at patches who is laying on the floor by the fireplace.

“I heard I mean I’m sorry about that Spencer is a terrible catch,” he laughs a little. I don’t laugh with him so he stops.

“Well I just came to say sorry and to see you were ok. I guess I’ll see you at school.” He proceeds to walk towards the door.

“I won’t be at school at for a few days. I mean I can’t because…”

“I can understand that,” he says, “If you need something…um like ice cream or something let me know.”

I nod. He walks out of the door to his black SUV it’s starting to snow damping his sweater a little I watch him drive away. I’m not sure why I stood there.

“Why were you so mean?” Karen shouts from the stairway.

I keep staring at the accumulating snow on the ground. I couldn’t answer the question.

(I hope you enjoy this story more to come)

Peace and Stay Creative,

Trish

 

 

 

#MondayMotivation 4 Best books to kick start your goals

1.The Shortness of Life by Seneca TF8&qid=1471143016&sr=1-4&keywords=Seneca

2. Living Intentionally by Dr. Bonnie L. Aaron https://www.amazon.com/Living-Intentionally-Transformation-Goal-Setting-Goal-Getting/dp/0990341720/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1471143099&sr=1-3&keywords=goal+setting+workbook

3.I Am That Girl: How to Speak Your Truth, Discover Your Purpose, and #bethatgirl Paperback – March 18, 2014 by Alexis Jones , Sophia Bush  https://www.amazon.com/Am-That-Girl-Discover-bethatgirl/dp/0989322289/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1471143272&sr=1-8&keywords=motivational+books

4. The Gifts of Imperfection:  Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who you are by Brene Brown https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_6?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=motivational+books&sprefix=motiva%2Cstripbooks%2C263

Peace & Stay Creative,

Trish